WebParenTips - The Online Parenting Newsletter
                  vol.2 no.12, September, 2001 

               REACH FOR SCHOOL SUCCESS

School days!  School days!

Depending on where you live school has just started or is about to
start.  Although they may protest otherwise, most kids can’t wait for
the structured school year to start again.

Today’s busy parents struggle with how involved they should be.  Some
parents don’t pay much attention at all while others hover over every
homework paper until perfection is achieved.

And there are very varied opinions among those of us giving parenting
advice. Some feel that school is the child’s job and the child must be
responsible for school work. (sink-or-swim) Others stress the
importance of the parents in school success.

The first parenting newspaper column I wrote 12 years ago dealt with
parental involvement in their children’s school and home work.  I have
always felt that parents must be involved in their child's school
experiences.  Why? Because school is the most important thing in our
children's lives from kindergarten through high school graduation and
beyond.  A hands-off, let 'em sink or swim attitude gives only one
message to a child:  my parents don't care.  This morphs into another
counterproductive message: my parents don't think school is important.

In that column I used the acronym REACH to outline what all parents
should do to ensure their child's success at school.

"R" stands for READ:  read to the child, read with the child,  let the
child read to you, and be sure your child sees you  reading.

I have come to realize that there are lots of parents out there who
diligently read to their children, take them to story hour at the
library, and buy them many books.  But these parents are so busy with
their work and computers that the kids never see Mommy and Daddy pick up
a book. These parents often complain that their child can read but
doesn't.

Parents: don't just get books for the children, get some for yourselves.
I advocate a family reading hour at least three times a week. (If you
are like me you have to put it on the calendar so nothing else fills the
time.) Let the children pick whatever they want to read (or look at if
they are not yet able to read) while you're reading your own book. Then
read aloud to the children. For older children pick books that interest
them so much they can hardly wait for the next chapter. Books like The
Little Prince or the Harry Potter books all work.

"E" stands for EXPECTATIONS.  Children live up to the loving, high
expectations of their parents.  Expect your child to learn at school and
succeed at this "job".  Education should be the number one priority in
your child's life.  Expect your child to do well at school and to take
pride in so doing just as you take pride in your job.

Expect your child to understand that learning doesn't end at  3
o'clock.  Involve children in problem-solving at home (cooking uses
fractions), at the market (counting change), and in the car (directions,
time/distance problems).  This reinforces the learning that has taken
place in school and also points out that arithmetic is a necessary life
skill you will use all your life, not just when you're at school.
Don't just think your expectations, SAY THEM so the children know that
you have an interest in their "job" and in their future.

"A" is for ACTIVITY as opposed to passivity.  Learning is an active
process.  Whether your child is learning how to catch a ball or do long
division,  he or she must be actively involved in the process.  Expose
your child to all kinds of age appropriate activities:  sports, crafts,
hobbies, etc. rather than the passivity of TV.  There are lots of
reasons to curtail TV (violence, sex, consumerism) but the most
important reason is to counteract passivity.  Every hour spent passively
is an hour not spent in an activity.

"C" stands for COMMUNICATION.  Talk to your child about school.  Ask
your child about school using questions that require an answer not a
monosyllable ("What was the best thing that happened at school today?"
not "Did you have a good day at school?")

Communicate with your child's teacher.  Respond to notes and requests
and look at the papers your child brings home.  The teacher's comments
point out your child's strengths and weaknesses so you can reinforce the
strengths and help with any weaknesses.  Pay attention to the teacher's
assessment of your child because the teacher understands both child
development and the dynamics of learning.  If the teacher notices a
problem, follow through on the suggestions.

"H" stands for HELP.  Although one school of thought holds that parents
should not help their children with school work because it dilutes the
child's responsibility. I don't buy into this.

When it comes to homework, parents should: 1) Provide the proper
environment (a quiet place and all the necessary equipment like pencils,
paper and  dictionary). 2) Set up household homework rules.  In many
homes the rule is snack, homework, and then play although some parents
say play until supper then homework. 3) Help out if a child is stuck.
It's silly to let a child stare at a piece of paper not knowing what to
do.  By all means offer help but do it the right way.  Help the child
RECALL by asking  "What did your teacher tell you to do?"  Give the
child an EASIER EXAMPLE to boost his or her confidence.  Show the child
how to BREAK DOWN THE PROBLEM into do-able parts. CHECK THE ANSWERS to
see if most of them are correct.  Don't ever DO the child's homework,
rather encourage your child to come to you for help when needed.

So REACH with your child for school success!


Happy Parenting,
Marilyn Heins, M.D.

NOTE: There are New ParenTips on the website. See:

ParenTips


For comments, suggestions or requests for future topics
please write: 
info@parentkidsright.com


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Dr. Marilyn Heins is a Tucson pediatrician, parenting
columnist for the Arizona Daily Star, author of the book,
ParenTips, as well as a mother, stepmother and grandmother.

She is available for workshops and lectures to groups of
parents, teachers, and grandparents. See:

Dr. Heins' Lectures
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


Subscribe to WebParenTips


STOP receiving WebParenTips

More parenting information can be found in

Dr. Heins' book, ParenTips