WebParenTips - The Online Parenting Newsletter
                  vol.2 no.15, November, 2001 

               TOY OVERLOAD

Before you head for the mall, let me warn you about a childhood
"disease" epidemic currently sweeping the country: TOY OVERLOAD!

Some children have so many toys they don't have room to move around,
let alone find the toy they want.  And, what's worse, they keep
asking for more toys because they can't find anything to play with
in the confusion.

This disease can cause high levels of UNHAPPINESS, CRANKINESS, and
CONFUSION in its helpless victims.

Children don't have the immune system to ward off toy overload. It's
the parents' job to prevent it and/or figure out how to deal with it
if others infect your children with this virus by being overly generous.

Play with objects fills an important developmental need, so every child
needs some toys.  The question is how many and what kind.

Children today feel "entitled" to get whatever they see advertised.
Affluent parents may think, "Why not, we can afford it".  Struggling
parents may feel sorry for their children who don't have year-round
advantages so the parents overbuy at Christmas.  Working parents may
think--consciously or subconsciously--that toys substitute for time.
And many parents cave in to the kids' demands just because it's too
darn difficult to resist.

I can't fault parents (or grandparents) for wanting to make children
happy on birthdays or holidays.  But I am absolutely convinced that
when it comes to toys, less is more.

As an early holiday present to my readers let me once again offer my
suggestions for parents and grandparents this holiday season:

o DO NOT BUY TOO MANY TOYS!   A reasonable goal:  one toy from Mom
and Dad, one from Grandma and Grandpa, and one from Santa per child.


o AVOID JUNK TOYS!  These are invariably plastic, breakable, un-fixable,
anti-imagination (the child can only do one thing with them), and
widely-advertised / displayed toys.  They often come in a series so
children want the whole set.

o Buy DEVELOPMENTALLY-APPROPRIATE TOYS.

o Take into account the child's skills and talents and what he or she
likes to do when you shop for toys.

o Concentrate on "NUTRITIOUS" TOYS.  These toys are sturdy, can be used
over and over again, and can be used in several different ways depending
on where the child's imagination goes that day.  Nutritious toys are
building sets like Lego; items that foster creativity like crayons,
paint sets, and clay; sports equipment; and objects that imitate what
adults use like trucks, dolls, and dishes.

o Give a BOOK on every possible occasion.

o Remember that children often need parental help with toys.  Not only
will the older child need help with directions, but the younger child
may need a lesson in imagination.  The child who seems bored with a
dump truck may love your suggestion to build a 2-story garage out of
a plastic laundry basket and a cookie sheet ramp.

o Help your children avoid toy confusion and learn  responsibility by
teaching them how to put toys away.  Start TOY PICKUP at a very early
age.  Even a crawling baby can help you toss toys in a hamper at the end
of the day if you make a game of it.  Show preschoolers how to store
small pieces in clear plastic boxes or jars.  Help them label
containers, first with pictures then words.  As children get older,
teach them how to sort toys and organize them just the way you organize
a closet.  Make it easy for them by providing suitable, reachable toy
containers.

o SHARE THE JOY!  Give your child the opportunity of GIVING this holiday
season.  Be sure to buy and wrap at least one toy for a child less
fortunate than your own--and involve your child in the process.  Involve
older children in decisions about where the family charity dollar should
go this year.  And it's certainly appropriate to say, "You got so many
presents today, which toy would you like to give away to a child who
doesn't have any toys?"

o On a budget?  Be creative and recycle.  Children love to build and
dress up.  Create a Builder's Kit out of thread spools, paper spools,
popsicle sticks, etc. to which you add glue (safe variety), heavy
thread, or glitter.  Make a Dress-up Treasure Chest out of old clothes,
beads, etc. to which you add some kiddie makeup.

o When doting relatives bring too many toys, let the child open all the
presents.  But avoid toy overload by putting some toys away.  Create a
TOY BANK that works like a library. The rule is that in order to take a
toy out of the bank you must put one back in. You decide for the little
ones which toys get banked. At about age three your children can decide.
Tell them toys get tired too!


Happy Parenting,
Marilyn Heins, M.D.

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Dr. Marilyn Heins is a Tucson pediatrician, parenting
columnist for the Arizona Daily Star, author of the book,
ParenTips, as well as a mother, stepmother and grandmother.

She is available for workshops and lectures to groups of
parents, teachers, and grandparents. See:

Dr. Heins' Lectures
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