WebParenTips - The Online Parenting Newsletter
                      vol.3 no.7, July, 2002 

                          HANGING OUT TOGETHER

Here come the lazy, hazy days of summer. Many families will be off
on vacation somewhere this summer. Most families have been thinking
about what they will DO this summer.

How about giving some thought to what you won't do?

Summer is a great time to just HANG OUT TOGETHER. Things are more
relaxed around the house. Parents generally have fewer fixed obligations
like church committee meetings. Kids don't have any homework.

There is both an art and a science to hanging out together. By "science"
I guess I mean my own definition: you are together, there are no
distractions, you are in a quiet place, you are close enough to each other
to talk quietly and see each other's faces. This all means you can be
together each thinking his or her own thoughts. Or you can talk to each
other. No agenda, no planned activity, you are just being together.

The art is finding creative ways to do it in your family.

How do you get started? One way is a simple 3-step process: 1) Turn off
the TV. 2) Make a pitcher of lemonade. 3) Sit outdoors together.

Other hang-out scenarios might be take a walk together, lie down in the
back yard at night and watch the stars, go fishing (strictly speaking
fishing is a planned activity but there's lots of waiting-for-a-bite time).

Try some surprises. Set the alarm and wake everybody up before dawn to
watch the sun come up. Do unusual things like an indoor picnic on the
living room floor.

Don't over-program yourself or your kids. Leave the kids time on their
own for daydreaming, reading, listening to music.

Give yourself some time for introspection. How am I doing? How are my
loved ones doing? Take time to think about your physical, mental, and
spiritual health.

You've heard the expression, "Don't just stand there, do something!"
Sometimes in a family, the best thing you can do IS just stand there together.


Happy Parenting,
Marilyn Heins, M.D.

NOTE: There are New ParenTips on the website. See:

ParenTips


For comments, suggestions or requests for future topics
please write: 
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Dr. Marilyn Heins is a Tucson pediatrician, parenting
columnist for the Arizona Daily Star, author of the book,
ParenTips, as well as a mother, stepmother and grandmother.

She is available for workshops and lectures to groups of
parents, teachers, and grandparents. See:

Dr. Heins' Lectures
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