WebParenTips - The Online Parenting Newsletter
                      vol.3 no.9, Sept, 2002 

                          WHAT I WANT FOR MY KIDS

It occurred to me that maybe we have it backwards. We ask our kids what
they want to be when they grow up. Maybe we should first ask ourselves
what we want our kids to become.

I'm not talking about a career or job--that is the decision of the child.

I'm talking about the kind of person we want our child to become.

If I were starting out as a new parent I would want my child to grow up
to be KIND. I would hope he or she would care about other people's feelings,
would be able to help others, would find ways to meet other people's needs
without ignoring the needs of self.

I would want my child to grow up to be RESPONSIBLE. I would want both my
sons and daughters to become the sort of people that are believed when
they say, "You can count on me!"

I would want the future adult my child will become to be CENTERED.
Unfortunately the term "self-centered" means selfish, thinking only
of self, putting self first. I am using the word "centered" to mean
that my children would become centered within themselves, to know who
they are and what they want, to have an understanding of their unique
place on this planet, to recognize how brief our stay is on earth.

Each of us might come up with different adjectives. Having a clear picture
in our minds of what we want our kids to become might help us better help
them on the road to adulthood.


Happy Parenting,
Marilyn Heins, M.D.


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Dr. Marilyn Heins is a Tucson pediatrician, parenting
columnist for the Arizona Daily Star, author of the book,
ParenTips, as well as a mother, stepmother and grandmother.

She is available for workshops and lectures to groups of
parents, teachers, and grandparents. See:

Dr. Heins' Lectures
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