WebParenTips - The Online Parenting Newsletter vol.4 no.1, Jan 2003 

                          PEACE BETWEEN SIBLINGS

Last month's newsletter dealt with some general things about making a
peaceful home. One reader said my advice was all well and good but what
should you do to cut down the level of sibling squabbling?

Tough question because sibs are supposed to squabble. Have you ever
watched a litter of puppies growling and biting? They are hard-wired
to do this, it's in their genes and the purpose of the tussling is to
prepare them for adult fighting.

Kids are hard-wired too. The reason siblings fight is to practice getting
along with others. We are a social mammal and have to learn this art
although I admit quite a few of us never quite get the hang of it.

Hints to lessen the effects on busy parents who need some peace & quiet:

KEEP THE NOISE LEVEL DOWN. A separate playroom for the kids works great.
Alternatively, when the noise starts to bug you SUGGEST A QUIET GAME or
SEPARATE THE KIDS. Tell them you can no longer stand the noise so it's
their choice: quiet down or play alone.

ENCOURAGE THE CHILDREN TO PURSUE SEPARATE INTERESTS. Often parents are so
used to lumping the kids together that they forget to watch for special
interests and talents which can be developed.

SPEND SOME TIME EACH DAY WITH EACH CHILD ALONE. Don't worry: all this
takes is a few minutes a day with each child provided you devote your
FULL ATTENTION to the child during the time you are alone together.


Happy Parenting,
Marilyn Heins, M.D.


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Dr. Marilyn Heins is a Tucson pediatrician, parenting
columnist for the Arizona Daily Star, author of the book,
ParenTips, as well as a mother, stepmother and grandmother.

She is available for workshops and lectures to groups of
parents, teachers, and grandparents. See:

Dr. Heins' Lectures
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