WebParenTips - The Online Parenting Newsletter vol.4 no.7, July 2003 

                           COMPASSION

      Can parents teach COMPASSION to their children?

Sure kids are egocentric and are sometimes convinced the world revolves
around them and them alone. Sure kids fight with their siblings and don't
give a hoot about hurting their brother or sister's feelings.

But kids have an amazing amount of empathy. Even babies as young as
a year old will pat another baby who is crying. Children identify with
a hurt child on the playground and don't want to see anyone in pain.

What children need from us parents are the skills of compassion along
with a few lessons on how important it is to be nice to children less
fortunate than they are.

When your preschooler points to a child on crutches or wearing a hearing
aid, your job is to explain that some children's legs or ears don't work
well and they need extra help. Ask your children how they would feel if
they needed extra help and someone pointed or laughed.

When you hear your kids laughing at a handicapped child or avoiding the
child, model the correct behavior. Show your children how to include the
handicapped child in their play.

If an older child seems shy around a handicapped child or adult, teach
your child the correct approach. Start by explaining the problem (Tommy
is blind but can talk and play with you just fine.). Then teach your child
the appropriate rules (When Tommy is playing here you can't leave any
toys on the floor because he might trip and you take him to the bathroom
by putting his hand on your shoulder so you can lead him.)

The skills of compassion are empathy, understanding and respecting the
differences between people, and making the extra effort that is needed to
minimize these differences.

Compassion is an important human attribute. Your children will benefit
from learning about compassion and how to show compassion.


Happy Parenting,
Marilyn Heins, M.D.


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Dr. Marilyn Heins is a Tucson pediatrician, parenting
columnist for the Arizona Daily Star, author of the book,
ParenTips, as well as a mother, stepmother and grandmother.

She is available for workshops and lectures to groups of
parents, teachers, and grandparents. Dr. Heins' Lectures
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More parenting information can be found in
Dr. Heins' book, ParenTips