WebParenTips - The Online Parenting Newsletter vol.5 no.10, Oct 2004 

              HOW IS MY KID DOING IN SCHOOL?

The kids have been back in school for a few weeks.
They should have settled into their winter, as opposed
to summer, routine. But how are they doing in school?

I believe in early warning systems. I want to know in
the fall, not the day before school ends, if my child
needs extra work or help in an area whether it be
academic or social.

Obviously COMMUNICATION is the key. Parents and
teachers should communicate in person not just via a
report card. Don't miss any parent-teacher conferences
or parent nights. If you do have to miss one write the
teacher a note and ask to meet.

There is another person you should communicate with:
your child. You want to learn the answers to three questions:

1) How does the child LIKE SCHOOL? 
2) How does the child GET ALONG WITH PEERS at school?
3) How is the child doing ACADEMICALLY?

Much of this information will be in the teacher's reports
as well but savvy parents can learn quite a bit from
observing their child and knowing how to ask their child
questions. There is a simple rule: NEVER ASK A CHILD
A QUESTION THAT CAN BE ANSWERED WITH A "YES"
OR A "NO" or any other one word answer.

If you ask children, "How was school today?" 99 % of them
will say, "Good." or "Fine." If you ask , "Do you like school?"
most kids will say, "Yes" even if they don't.

So work on your information gathering skills. Some good
things to ask are: "What colors were your teacher wearing
today?" "What did you eat for lunch?" "Tell me two things
you learned today." "Tell me the names of your friends at
school." "Tell me what you like best about school."
"Tell me what you like least about school." "What two
subjects do you like the most? The least? Why?" "Tell
me a story about school." "Tell me what the book you
just finished is about."

Observe your child when he or she answers your questions.
Pay attention to body language, eyes, tone of voice,
presence or absence of enthusiasm, whether the child
smiles or laughs.

You should be able to get a good idea of your child's
opinion of school and peer relationships as well as some
clues about academics. If anything seems amiss, talk
to the teacher.


Happy Parenting,
Marilyn Heins, M.D.


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Dr. Marilyn Heins is a Tucson pediatrician, parenting
columnist for the Arizona Daily Star, author of the book,
ParenTips, as well as a mother, stepmother and grandmother.

She is available for workshops and lectures to groups of
parents, teachers, and grandparents. See:

Dr. Heins' Lectures
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