WebParenTips - The Online Parenting Newsletter vol.5 no.9, Sep 2004 

              REMEMBERING SEPTEMBER 11TH

The third anniversary of the terrorist attack on the World
Trade Center is approaching.

It was impossible to shield any but the very youngest
children from the horrors of that day. TV coverage on
the anniversary will reawaken our feelings of both fear
and anger.

A recent article in Pediatrics by van der Molen pointed
out that is not just entertainment programming that brings
violence and horror into our homes but also the news.
Research has shown that the realistic portrayals of
violence as we see on the news almost daily can cause
increased levels of fear, aggression, and desensitization
in children.

Nothing could be more violent or horrific than watching
airplanes deliberately fly into the tallest buildings in
New York City. And indeed some children who were
not personally affected by the events of 9-11 and who
were geographically far removed form the scene
showed profound stress reactions and even posttraumatic
stress after exposure to news of what happened that day.

I advise you to limit your child's re-exposure to 9-11 on TV.
Be sure to be there with your children when they watch the
news so you can interpret the events, share your feelings,
and ask your kids about their feelings.

But don't try to avoid the subject. In the first place it's
doubtful that you will be able to prevent your children
from awareness of the anniversary. Second, the victims
deserve the memorial of remembrance. Finally we help
our children deal with strong emotions by modeling how
we deal with them. It's OK to tell your children you are
sad and to cry. You also show them that the time comes
to dry your tears and get on with life. The parent who
always smiles and pretends there's nothing wrong isn't
able to teach that important lesson.

Finally, find ways to help your children to talk about what
bothers them about 9-11. Have open family discussions
about terrorism and other world problems. Empower your
children by showing them how to write letters to elected
officials. Interest your older children in history so
they can explore the roots of terrorism.


Happy Parenting,
Marilyn Heins, M.D.


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Dr. Marilyn Heins is a Tucson pediatrician, parenting
columnist for the Arizona Daily Star, author of the book,
ParenTips, as well as a mother, stepmother and grandmother.

She is available for workshops and lectures to groups of
parents, teachers, and grandparents. See:

Dr. Heins' Lectures
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