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WebParenTips - The Online Parenting Newsletter vol.6 no.6, June 2005
A DESCRIPTION OF PARENTING
Here is a description of how new parents felt about their new
parenthood: "...our own shock at the various moral and bodily
issues of parenthood, and our assorted resolutions about how
to usher her, relatively undamaged, into a life of love and wages."
This quote is from a work of fiction, "A Home at the End of the World,"
by Michael Cunningham, who wrote "The Hours." I find that sometimes
fiction clarifies the crux of an issue better than a scientific
definition does.
The bodily issues of parenting are relatively easy to figure out. We
learn how to feed and bathe and diaper pretty quick. But how do parents
best deal with the moral issues of parenting and how do we manage to
keep our children relatively undamaged? Actually I think it is by
wrestling with and thinking about our moral responsibilities to our
children and our commitment to not damage them during the process of
parenting.
Think about the kind of parent you want to be, ponder about all the
moral teachings you want to impart, look at and listen to your children.
Don't parent on automatic pilot.
Sometimes we get so busy "doing" that we have no time to think and
ponder. One thing I use to get me pondering is fiction. Confession: I am
a fiction addict. Good, not junk, fiction is my major relaxation
recreation. An intellectual snob of my acquaintance once said he had no
time for fiction because he was too busy learning about the world from
nonfiction. I learn about LIFE FROM LITERATURE. And I think about the
big questions like what kind of parent do I want to be from coming upon
a quote that clarifies my thinking.
So how about limiting TV for yourself as well the children? You can use
the time you would have spent mindless in front of a screen thinking in
front of a good book!
Happy Parenting,
Marilyn Heins, M.D.
NOTE: There are New ParenTips on the website.
See: ParenTips
For comments, suggestions or requests for future topics
please write: info@parentkidsright.com
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Dr. Marilyn Heins is a Tucson pediatrician, parenting
columnist for the Arizona Daily Star, author of the book,
ParenTips, as well as a mother, stepmother and grandmother.
She is available for workshops and lectures to groups of
parents, teachers, and grandparents. See: Dr. Heins' Lectures
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