Please click your printer icon to print this printer-friendly page

To return to previous page simply close this window.

MATERNAL EMPLOYMENT: RE-ENTRY AT NIGHT

I have given a good deal of thought to the "re-entry" problems experienced every evening by millions of employed mothers. They have already put in a full day's work. When they arrive home, there is no wife to hand them their slippers and the paper. Instead they start right in on their "second shift" job of mother, homemaker, and wife.

I went through the re-entry blues myself as I had two full-time jobs, one at the hospital and one at home. Both were important, both needed my time and energy. It took a while but I caught on to the most important part of the solution: make the decision about working outside the home that is best for you and your children, accept your decision, and lose the guilt.

Once you have dealt with indecision and guilt you can start taking some practical steps to minimize re-entry problems in your home.

Both you and your kids have needs at night. Your children need your full attention for a while. You need to unwind and shift gears before you start supper or do the laundry.

There are four points in the Heins Re-entry User Manual for Employed Moms:

1) Make coming back home at night a special moment for you and your children. Go to a comfortable chair or your bed and cuddle or read from a special book you save for this time or talk together. Don't answer the phone. Just do this for a few minutes until you have decompressed from your busy day and your children have enjoyed your full attention. I liked to gather my two children on the big bed so I could put my tired feet up while cuddling and chatting.

2) Next reconnect with yourself, your at-home self as opposed to your work self. Some women change clothes, others sit quietly for a minute or two getting in touch with their feelings.

3) Always give this re-connection with your children and yourself first priority on reentry. Don't look at the mail or retrieve phone messages or worry about the mess in the house.

4) Then, and only then, start cooking or doing what chores must be done.

After the kids are in bed, don't forget to re-connect with your husband. It's just as important as re-connecting with your children but husbands are generally less impatient and have a later bedtime!

To return to previous page simply close this window.