We are living in times of unprecedented prosperity. All but about 35 million of us are benefitting from this prosperity, including me.
Not only do our pocketbooks suffer from excess consumerism, our kids
suffer as well.
It is simply not healthy for children to be surrounded by so many toys
they can't find a thing to play with. It is not healthy for kids to get
everything they ask for because it retards their development of a most
important life skill: postponing gratification.
What's an affluent parent to do? News Flash: Mr. and Mrs. Parent you
are responsible for raising your kids responsibly. No matter how
affluent you are, parents are the people-in-charge in their house, not
the kids and not the kids' peer group.
See that foot? You have two of them. It doesn't matter which one you
put down.
Remember that easy-to-pronounce, one-syllable, two-letter word, "No"?
Try saying this foreign-sounding word a few times until it gets easy.
Protests from the kids? Snide remarks like, “We can afford it!"? Stand
firm. It's your job to decide on matters of high finance and to make
critical decisions involving health, safety, and sane behavior.
Start early to combat consumerism. When your children are preschoolers
begin a family tradition of wrapping and donating a holiday gift to a
less fortunate child. Toy overload because of doting grandparents? It's
appropriate to say, "You got so many presents today--which toy would you
like to give to a child who doesn't have any toys?" Take your children
with you when you donate food to your community food bank or make
sandwiches for the homeless. Involve your children in decisions about
where the family philanthropic dollars should go.
Give your kids something more valuable than an expensive toy. Instill
in them from early childhood the three R's of respect, responsibility,
and reason. Treat your children with RESPECT and teach them how to treat
others the same way. Teach them the concepts of empathy and fairness,
demonstrate how to not only tolerate but embrace diversity, and insist
on respect for things and the environment so they don't write on
library books or litter hiking trails.
There is only one way to avoid producing obnoxious kids who think they
are entitled to everything and that nothing is ever their fault: teach
RESPONSIBILITY from toddlerhood on. Start with simple chores and
progress to keeping track of tasks at school and at home without
reminders, planning and keeping their own schedules, and even writing a
thank-you note to Grandma without parental nagging.
REASONING starts with simple choices and increases as children learn
about cause and effect and what makes a good choice. Eventually all
children must develop critical thinking and mature decision-making. And
so do parents. When your child asks for an outrageously expensive
gadget because “All the other kids have one!" or want to go to a
boy-girl sleepover because, “All the other kids are going!" your
reasoned answer is, "No way!"
There is another important reason for combating consumerism.
Consumerism has a deleterious effect on family life, especially today
when family time is threatened by the pressures of work and activities
outside the home. Consumerism is a huge TIME ROBBER!
Think about all the time it takes to purchase something. You spend time
thinking about it (looking at ads or catalogs, deciding which stores to
go to), driving to the store or stores, finding the darn thing, deciding
on the specific purchase, paying for it, taking it home, opening and
unpacking the item from its several superfluous layers of packaging,
recycling the applicable packaging, finding a place to put the item, and
finally either balancing your checking account or figuring out how to
pay your credit card bill. Add up the time and remember you could have
spent it hanging out with the kids.
Plus whatever you bought adds to the clutter which is in itself a great
time robber. If you're smart you'll get in the habit of discarding an
item for each one you buy.
And don't fall in the trap of thinking it's a “labor-saving device." It
took me many years to realize that the only kitchen appliances that
saved me “labor" or time were the ones that had a permanent place on the
counter--all the ones that had to be dug out and replaced cost me time.
On my counter now? Toaster, food processor, coffee maker and coffee
grinder. NOTHING ELSE! I decided , after realizing I had not used my
waffle iron in years, to get rid of it. If I want a waffle I go out for
breakfast.
Bottom line: buy less, enjoy your family more.
